Ain't Life A Mystery?
by plannedbyReaperLight
Summary: What if the Death Note landed at a different school?  Clean Version
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I don't own _Death Note_.

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It was lunch time at Wammy's House and Matt was just walking along through the courtyard (as usual glued to his PSP and not watching where he was going) minding his own business when he tripped on something that had been lying on the ground. Matt yelped as he landed on his ass and, even worse, he could only watch in horror as in slow motion, his beloved PSP sailed out of his hands and shattered on impact with the ground. Matt cursed his luck. He wouldn't be able to sneak off to town for replacement parts until the end of the week! Jeez. What the fuck was he going to DO until then? Matt picked himself up to find he was sitting on the thing that had caused him to fall. The offending item was a book—a black notebook to be precise with the words "Death Note" written on the cover with... maybe it was whiteout? Curiosity peaked, he opened the book and read the first line.

"The human whose name is written in this note shall die." Matt rolled his eyes. That was pretty sick.

He was about to toss it when he reconsidered upon casually scanning over the elaborate rules... Somebody had too much time on their hands. Yeah it was messed up but the very idea of one of the students here coming up with this shit... _that_ was surely good for a few laughs. Mello would no doubt appreciate this particular brand of humor.

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_"I can't talk now Mattie. I'm __**this close**__ to beating him this time."  
><em>

Matt gave an irritated sigh as he returned to their shared dorm room which was currently empty. Mello was going to spend all night in the library again, working himself towards an early heart attack trying to outdo "that stupid sheep."  
>Matt tried not to get involved in Mello and Near's rivalry but some days, like today for instance, Matt got annoyed that Mello's obsession with the albino took up so much of his time and attention.<p>

Matt sprawled on his bed at an awkward angle, kicking his boots in the air while staring vacantly at the wall. His fingers twitched, deprived of his PSP. Roger had already confiscated his X-box earlier that week after an incident in Near's room which involved an envelope filled with shaving cream being stuck partway under the door, followed by a large encyclopedia being dropped on said envelope. (That was totally not his fault by the way—alas apparently he was guilty by association...)

Matt was so bored.

He had already done all his course work (deliberately getting many of the answers wrong so as not to step on Mello's toes.) But now there was NOTHING to do.  
>Meanwhile that stupid notebook innocuously sat on his desk almost like it was... waiting.<br>Matt had all but forgotten about it...

That's not true. He had tried to forget about it but it was always there in the back of his mind. Almost like it was calling...

While Matt was more er... mellow than Mello he also was never too good about the whole "impulse control business" either. He preferred to do things that offered instant gratification—like video games.

But wouldn't it be great if he could just zap all his problems away? If Near would just... disappear?

No more Near... and Mello could finally relax and focus on the things that were really important...

Matt laughed and shook his head. He was getting way too serious about this. It wasn't healthy. And what the hell was he thinking? Matt didn't even really hate Near-at least it wasn't the frothing rage of a certain chocoholic blonde. And as if a Notebook could actually kill someone anyway—that defied all logic, right?  
>Matt began to approach his desk nervously but stopped himself. Scared? Of a stupid notebook?<p>

Mello would laugh at him for weeks.

This was ridiculous-it was just a dumb prank!

And he'd prove it. He'd write a name down and they'd all laugh about it later.

But which name?

Well that should be obvious—Matt wrote "NEAR" in large, scrawling letters at the top of the first page.  
>Yeah, Mello was sure to get a kick out of seeing the name "NEAR" (or as the Wammy's mainframe he once hacked into for kicks revealed—Nate River) in this supposed "murder notebook." As an afterthought Matt wrote "Nate River" down too, chuckled, and then closed the book.<br>Yes, surely Mello would approve.


	2. Chapter 2

**NOTICE**

I apologize in advance for spamming and I apologize to everyone who thought they were getting an update. I usually don't do the whole author note chapter thing but I thought it was the best way to get the word out before my account gets deleted.

After ten years of no enforcement fanfiction . net is suddenly going to start enforcing a "no sex and violence" policy:  
>www . change petitions  fanfiction – net – stop – the – destruction – of – fanfiction – net ? utm_campaign =friend _ inviter _ modal & utm_medium = facebook&utm _ source = share_petition

I'm here frequently on fanfiction . net but I only just heard about this, so I figured it was important to get the word out.

I checked and the only warning on fanfiction . net I could see was a single note on fanfiction . net's homepage:  
>"June 4th 2012 - Notices: ◦Please note we would like to clarify the content policy we have in place since 2002. follows the Fiction Rating system ranging from Fiction K to Fiction M. Although Fiction Ratings goes up to Fiction MA, since 2002 has not allowed Fiction MA rated content which can contain adultexplicit content on the site. only accepts content in the Fiction K through Fiction M range. Fiction M can contain adult language, themes and suggestions. Detailed descriptions of physical interaction of sexual or violent nature is considered Fiction MA and has not been allowed on the site since 2002."

I know I don't exactly comb through mine for content and just rate it all M. But no doubt the vague descriptions of gay sex within these stories will offend the moral guardians.

Though I have to wonder what's left after you delete all the stories with sex and violence. There goes the Death Note fandom! And what about a fandom like... Saw?

If you don't think this applies to you then ask yourself, does your story:

Have action scenes?

Have romance scenes?

Mention a song?

**If you answered yes to any of those it is at risk of deletion.**

Or to put it another way would your story make a good episode of Sesame Street?

If yes you're probably safe but if no you may want to consider copying it over to another site.

Even if you don't think this applies to you it's still a good idea to have backups and considering they're going to suddenly start cracking down now after ten years of nothing they may be overzealous in their censorship. It would be a shame if a beautiful story is lost forever just because it says a naughty word.

So please move your stuff, copy your favorites before this goes into effect!

Some suggested sites:

livejournal . com

archiveofourown . org

deviantart . com

adultfanfiction . net

As for me, I will continue to write and update my stories—just not on fanfiction . net.

You can find me on Livejournal and archiveofourown. org as reaperlight and plannedbyreaperLight on deviantart . com

I would like to thank everyone, all of my readers and reviewers, for all their help and support and all the other writers out there keep on writing awesome stories!


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